I mentioned on the sad blog recently (amid the crushing of my self-esteem) that my self-confidence and self-esteem were at their highest by the end of the London trip.
I was going to elaborate that as a tie-in to a much longer post complaining about how my mother insults me nearly continuously, but I figured that while the majority of the post was negative, that this bit was positive, and shouldn't be on the sad blog.
So why was my self-confidence and self-esteem so high after London? Readers of my sad-blog know that half-way through the trip I was whining about how I felt distanced from both my fellow ASU students and from the general Londoner population (with the merry exceptions of Joefish and Slightfoxing, who were a pleasure to meet).
Well, first off, I proved that I could be successful. I survived and (with the exception of what probably was swine flu) stayed healthy. I got kind of down because of not being accepted at my original job placement, and then later being dismissed from my second job placement, but in the third one... things worked out. And that was the last one, too, so that left the strongest impression.
How did things work out? Well, the tasks were readily defined (as opposed to the school, where I had basically no instruction on what to do), and I could do them, so I did them. Turns out that I am a pretty hard worker - all I was doing was mostly mindless busywork, but... hmm...
Did I ever mention why I like fighting games (the Tekken, SSBM, Virtua Fighter sort)? It's not because I am particularly bloodthirsty, or have anywhere near the motor-memory or fine-motor control to be effective at them. Instead, it is a pursuit of perfection. Every time I play, I try to optimise my techniques, fiddle with the balance of what I do, and pursue a state of empty mind (mushin, if you will).
Doing rote tasks at work is much the same, particularly if they are repetitive. Each time I find a website to write down the contact info from, I try to improve on it, given the inefficiencies from last time. Finding out the most likely places to get the appropriate information, figuring out which sites are promising enough to search for other sites via their links... balancing detail and time spent hunting through the website with the benefits of simply going to the next website. With each iteration, I try to improve the rote algorithms of how to react to a website, doing it fast, doing it better.
Additionally, I hunt for other ways of doing things. Better ways. We have a database of email addresses to email out to people, and we would mail 60 at a time - as we selected them off of the worksheet, we looked them over for duplicates, which slowed the selecting. So I went online, as found a series of excel formulas that I could use to eliminate duplicates (shrinking the registry by over a thousand addresses), searching for common email address misspellings (yahooo.com is a common one, as is anything with a double letter, it seems), searching for two addresses put in the same entry, searching for non-email address characters, eliminating all spaces in front or behind words, standardizing everything to lowercase, and even searching for addresses which did not have an @ sign, which required some out-of-the-box usage of excel's tools. All of this was via search functions and excel formulas, meaning that I could apply them quickly on the several-thousand-entry data base.
Naturally, this task was not without the same sort of optimization as everything else. For emailing outwards, I found it was more efficient to open a dozen messages, then copy and paste the same subject line to each one, and correct the message for each one, etc, rather than doing all the changes to each message one message at a time.
This sort of stuff I could take pride in, and my bosses were apparently pleased with it all. Turns out that mindless drudgery is only mindless drudgery if you don't constantly hunt improvements. If I do wind up flipping burgers, I'm pretty sure I could seek to optimise a balance of speed and quality, and spend my mental energies improving my technique.
Not only that, but at work people did appreciate me, did compliment me on doing well, etc.
Onwards to reasons other than work, London was a pretty cool place to be, and I greatly enjoyed the museums and performances, and the sights.
Additionally, while I was in London, I had enough time outside of work to design my own creative stuff. I made at least two game-design blog-posts while I was there (viewable on earlier happy-blogs, specifically the one on designing a new fighting game, and designing a new space piloting game, both of which showcase my desire for horribly complex game design). I started designing a DnD campaign, though that eventually had to pause due to my lack of ability to test the game mechanics I was designing.
Also in London, I got to see Joefish and Slightfoxing, as awesome as previously mentioned.
On a more personal front, I managed to sort out things romanically, and the result was much better than I feared it would be. Down-right good, given the circumstances.
And then, after my internship ended, I went to France, and stated with Bubble B and her family. Turns out everyone likes me. Her family thinks that I am well-mannered, well-raised, kind, trustworthy, and perhaps other descriptions that I cannot think of off the top of my head. And going around Paris with Bubble B was a delightful pleasure, naturally.
And then, as I was coming home, I had a visit to Toshiko to look forward to, as well as Krystalangel coming to visit for a week. Plus DnD on Sundays with Alec, and being in the same timezone as most of my friends.
So I got off the plane pretty happy, pretty hopeful, and pretty confident in my abilities. In fact, while I normally sink into being miserable within the first few hours of interacting with my mother, this time I lasted all the way from getting back Tuesday night until breaking down and crying on the following Friday. (This is still the happy blog. That was a statement showing just how good I was feeling when I got back. The story of that all goes in the sad blog.)
Anyway, that's all I have to say for now. Time to go help mother with whatever she wants me to help her with.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Movies on a Plane
I watched three movies on the way over the Atlantic (Traveling from London to Calgary, as it were).
Watchmen was pretty good. My version was censored, so I didn't get to see the vaunted Big Blue Penis. Other than that, I thought it was well done, though I wish that the hero-types didn't occasionally kick people completely accross rooms with... strength they are not supposed to have. Ozymandias, I can see. He's supposed to be the absolute peak of physical conditioning, to the point of being unnatural - the other ones? Not so much. Also, the second Nite Hawk was too slim. C'Mon, he's supposed to be a bit overweight. I liked him like that.
Push was... meh. I have to say that it was a pretty decent movie. It has a complicated plot, the characters are okay, and the special effects are pretty cool. But the thing that really drives me up the wall is how much potencial the setting has. I wouldn't be surprised if there are fan-fics that are better than the movie. Hell, I'd write a fan-fic set in the same setting. Not because the movie was actually good--it's just decent--but because the setting is open to so many possiblities. It's like someone wrote a mediocre plot, with mediocre characters, and then handed the setting creation to someone like me. Someone who was given the needs of the plot, and went crazy with creating a flavorful and world-comprehensive setting.
Coraline was really good. I liked it a lot. Started out a bit slow, but after the first few minutes (I'd mark it as about when she meets the circus man, and then the two old ladies, a bit later) it starts going all kinds of cool. Reminds me of Psychonauts a lot. That's a good thing. You should see the movie.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Going around.
I went to Portobello Road today, on the recommendation of my co-worker Nadzirah.
It was really interesting, with all kinds of cool stuff. I got presents for a few people, including my dad.
It started raining soon after I got there, but fortunately I had the foresight to bring my umbrella, so I was mostly fine.
After finishing the road (it was closing up by 6pm), I went over to a restuarant Nadzirah had told me to get duck rice at. Good stuff.
I walked home, and it stopped raining. Immediately after, I broke my umbrella - the stick part detached from the umbrella part, which gave me a metal stick to walk around with... and the other part of it. Fortunately, it didn't rain until I got home.
I lied to Hanna about things, after I got home.
I recommend Portobello Road to anyone in London. I also bet it is twice as fun if you have money to blow.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Eddie Izzard
Eddie Izzard has the kind of humor that I would employ, about the topics I would use for it, presented with more make-up than I would use.
Awesome.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Pondering Mechanics for Fighting Game.
For whatever reason, I was thinking about how design a better fighting game. Kinda like virtua fighter, or (with less fantasy) like Tekken.
General tenets.
Basic stuff: Videogame platform based, one on one matches. Characters kept on memory cards. No pre-made characters, though an easy-build system based on a few sliding bars can generate characters with decent move-lists.
Character appearance customizable, naturally.
Character tech-lists customizable - there is a quota of points that you spend on techniques, with all-around better moves costing more. About half to a quarter of the techniques can be bought at one time, assuming lower-cost moves.
Buttons are: Punch, Kick, Grab, Block.
Directional imputs: All directions (hold), all direction (press then release), neutral.
Now on to the funner parts - the guts of the game, the way the mechanics work:
Quick:Interrupts when nothing is hit-boxing, killed by hitbox (Beats delayed, good against cancelled attacks and feints)
Strong:Constant hit-box (Beats quick) (balances forward?)
Delayed: Evasion then attack, or just a slower, stronger attack (Beats Strong via priority while hitting before hit-box arrives)
Balance:
(Balance is one of the more special bits of this game)
Balance forward
Balance backward
Balance right
Balance left
Defenses against attacks:
Block: Take percentage of damage, proprotional stun and sometimes break, no other cooldown. Basic blocking only blocks attacks from the front of where the character is standing - vulnerable to circular attacks. Balance can effect damage vs. stun/break ratio.
Parry: Needs timing, takes time to start, static cooldown.
Defensive grab: Needs timing, must match forward or backward balance, auto-hit into grapple or throw.
Interrupt via quick: See earlier triangle.
Dodge: Needs early application, no cooldown, only avoids some types of attacks (duck, sidestep, jump, backstep), heavy balance
Defenses against grabs:
Counterthrow: Throw balancing in the same direction they are balanced to subvert their throw. (note that many throws have balance-backward at some part of their movement, but some balance forward while reaching to grab.)
Hit stun: Throws start attacking, grab, and then throw. The attack motion is the same as the defensive throw, so an off-balancing attack might get eaten by it, but otherwise hits normally. Grab solidifies whether it is a defensive throw, or an offensive throw, reduces hit-stun and knock-back - some attacks may not produce enough hit-stun or knockback to knock them out of the throw, or detach them. Damage is normal. Throw is too late, though if you have already imputted your own counter-throw, that will still implement.
Resist: use the imput-balance to pull away from the thrower's attack balance. Mostly pulling away from the opponent, but some throws just go with that. Does not work if you imputted the wrong throw command. Note this is the benefit of throws to the side, or throws that get behind the opponent. Visually, the throw slows and then breaks.
Notes on offensive throws:
Some throws can be reversed into other throws if resisted.
Throws have much shorter "grab" time if the person is already off-balance in the direction they are being thrown.
Throws have longer "grab" and "throw" times if the person is balanced away, worse if the player resists it.
(The grab is really just an off-balancing movement that preps for the throw.)
Get-up defense:
Grab to pull down - into grapple game
Grab to throw - into throw
Attack from ground
Dodge while rising
Defense while rising
Offense against get-up:
Grab and mount into grapple game
Hit opponent
Respond to get-up choice
Grapple:
Positions:
Guard: Person on top has better striking, bottom has worse, bottom has a 2/3 advantage in throw game
Mount: Person on top has better striking, bottom has worse, equal in throws.
Face-down mount: Person on top has better striking, bottom has none, top has 2/3 advantage in anti-throw game.
Options:
Strike: hit the opponent, varying keys and varying possible throws in response
Throw - Reposition: Shifts to a different position
Throw - Release: Throws the opponent into prone into a specific orientation near the throwing grappler
Strangle-hold/submission-hold: Constant damage. Wiggle/mash to escape, or throw (Each strangle has a throw-release key, but strangles can be shifted into other strangles mid-strangle.) Can strike during strangle, does not release, but works as a wiggle.
Restrain: if successful, negates one button-escape until wiggle-free. Some throws that go into grapples start with a restrain.
Near-Simultaneous grab:
If balance of throws oppose: First wins
If balance of throws same: Second wins.
Player Balance Mechanic:
Balance in one of four directions - forward, backward, right, left.
All created by movement, forward and backward can be created by attacks (can shift during attack
Grabs: Determines which defensive grabs work, and balance on opposed grabs determines winner.
Attacks on hit: More damage if balanced into attack, less stun/chance to interrupt; Less damage if balanced alway attack, more stun/chance to interrupt.
Auto-off: Some attacks (particularly kicks) inducing general off-balance penalties when attacked from any direction.
Attack direction:
Some attacks, particularly circular and retreating attacks, have an attack direction distinct from balance.
Circular: attacks from right or left, beats out side-steppers for either more damage or more stun.
Retreating: Often hits forward (weakly) while balance is backwards.
Hit stuns/status effects:
Attack stun: Recoiling from hit, can't initiate new attacks. Can use control stick to choose forward/backwards/left/right balance.
Induced Off-balance stun: opponent stumbles from attack/throw, balanced in that direction. Leads to better stun/damage, off-balance lasts a bit longer than actual stun. Some quick attacks and defensive-throws only provide off-balance, and minimal damage.
Off-balance collapse: If knocked over while balanced away due to the off-balance, stumble in that direction before falling.
Sensory stun: Variable amount of frame-delay on technique initiation - slowed between 1-X frames: Attacks will still happen, but timing is imprecise.(mostly face attacks)
Winded: Reduction in potency of attacks - priority, damage, stun-produced. May last a bit, reduces faster the less the character does. (Mostly gut attacks)
Gut-blow stun: Produces general off-balance, and auto-ducking.
Crumple stun: Produces general off-balance, auto-ducking, then falling to prone.
Misc. Status mods:
Pumped: Increase attack potency for a bit.
Adrenline surge: Ignore damage for a bit, then take all the damage you would have taken. Post-battle collapse is win, not tie.
Static Crouch: Acts as if automatically balanced opposing attacks: Less stun/push, more damage. Low mobility options. Also avoids high. (Note: This is while crouched - intial duck delay until fully crouched is neutral balance.)
Jump: Acts as if automatically balanced away from attacks: Less damage, more stun/push. Also avoids low. (Blocking in the air... almost garrentteed guard-break. At least there's less damage.)
Special games:
First blood (Lose imput control when damaged, if both players hit, whichever does more damage, if just one, that one loses.)
To knock-down (No damage, first player knocked to the ground loses.)
To Submission (Damage reduces wiggle efficiency but regenerates, first player to hold a submission hold for a specified amount of time wins.)
To Ring-out (Lose when forced off ring.)
Misc Character traits:
Regeneration: While no imput is taken, slow regeneration.
Default static crouch: Instead of holding down to stay crouched, hold up to uncrouch.
Special victories:
Taunt-victory: Three taunts in a row creates victory (forces aggression).
Ring-out: Drive opponent off of ring for victory.
Feints: Most attacks can be stopped before a certain point, some can be delayed (whiffs throws and parries, weak to quick and dodge), some can be converted into other attacks. (Strong against some dodge and quick, weak into strong and throws and parry)
Balance forward
Balance backward
Balance right
Balance left
Defenses against attacks:
Block: Take percentage of damage, proprotional stun and sometimes break, no other cooldown. Basic blocking only blocks attacks from the front of where the character is standing - vulnerable to circular attacks. Balance can effect damage vs. stun/break ratio.
Parry: Needs timing, takes time to start, static cooldown.
Defensive grab: Needs timing, must match forward or backward balance, auto-hit into grapple or throw.
Interrupt via quick: See earlier triangle.
Dodge: Needs early application, no cooldown, only avoids some types of attacks (duck, sidestep, jump, backstep), heavy balance
Defenses against grabs:
Counterthrow: Throw balancing in the same direction they are balanced to subvert their throw. (note that many throws have balance-backward at some part of their movement, but some balance forward while reaching to grab.)
Hit stun: Throws start attacking, grab, and then throw. The attack motion is the same as the defensive throw, so an off-balancing attack might get eaten by it, but otherwise hits normally. Grab solidifies whether it is a defensive throw, or an offensive throw, reduces hit-stun and knock-back - some attacks may not produce enough hit-stun or knockback to knock them out of the throw, or detach them. Damage is normal. Throw is too late, though if you have already imputted your own counter-throw, that will still implement.
Resist: use the imput-balance to pull away from the thrower's attack balance. Mostly pulling away from the opponent, but some throws just go with that. Does not work if you imputted the wrong throw command. Note this is the benefit of throws to the side, or throws that get behind the opponent. Visually, the throw slows and then breaks.
Notes on offensive throws:
Some throws can be reversed into other throws if resisted.
Throws have much shorter "grab" time if the person is already off-balance in the direction they are being thrown.
Throws have longer "grab" and "throw" times if the person is balanced away, worse if the player resists it.
(The grab is really just an off-balancing movement that preps for the throw.)
Get-up defense:
Grab to pull down - into grapple game
Grab to throw - into throw
Attack from ground
Dodge while rising
Defense while rising
Offense against get-up:
Grab and mount into grapple game
Hit opponent
Respond to get-up choice
Grapple:
Positions:
Guard: Person on top has better striking, bottom has worse, bottom has a 2/3 advantage in throw game
Mount: Person on top has better striking, bottom has worse, equal in throws.
Face-down mount: Person on top has better striking, bottom has none, top has 2/3 advantage in anti-throw game.
Options:
Strike: hit the opponent, varying keys and varying possible throws in response
Throw - Reposition: Shifts to a different position
Throw - Release: Throws the opponent into prone into a specific orientation near the throwing grappler
Strangle-hold/submission-hold: Constant damage. Wiggle/mash to escape, or throw (Each strangle has a throw-release key, but strangles can be shifted into other strangles mid-strangle.) Can strike during strangle, does not release, but works as a wiggle.
Restrain: if successful, negates one button-escape until wiggle-free. Some throws that go into grapples start with a restrain.
Near-Simultaneous grab:
If balance of throws oppose: First wins
If balance of throws same: Second wins.
Player Balance Mechanic:
Balance in one of four directions - forward, backward, right, left.
All created by movement, forward and backward can be created by attacks (can shift during attack
Grabs: Determines which defensive grabs work, and balance on opposed grabs determines winner.
Attacks on hit: More damage if balanced into attack, less stun/chance to interrupt; Less damage if balanced alway attack, more stun/chance to interrupt.
Auto-off: Some attacks (particularly kicks) inducing general off-balance penalties when attacked from any direction.
Attack direction:
Some attacks, particularly circular and retreating attacks, have an attack direction distinct from balance.
Circular: attacks from right or left, beats out side-steppers for either more damage or more stun.
Retreating: Often hits forward (weakly) while balance is backwards.
Hit stuns/status effects:
Attack stun: Recoiling from hit, can't initiate new attacks. Can use control stick to choose forward/backwards/left/right balance.
Induced Off-balance stun: opponent stumbles from attack/throw, balanced in that direction. Leads to better stun/damage, off-balance lasts a bit longer than actual stun. Some quick attacks and defensive-throws only provide off-balance, and minimal damage.
Off-balance collapse: If knocked over while balanced away due to the off-balance, stumble in that direction before falling.
Sensory stun: Variable amount of frame-delay on technique initiation - slowed between 1-X frames: Attacks will still happen, but timing is imprecise.(mostly face attacks)
Winded: Reduction in potency of attacks - priority, damage, stun-produced. May last a bit, reduces faster the less the character does. (Mostly gut attacks)
Gut-blow stun: Produces general off-balance, and auto-ducking.
Crumple stun: Produces general off-balance, auto-ducking, then falling to prone.
Misc. Status mods:
Pumped: Increase attack potency for a bit.
Adrenline surge: Ignore damage for a bit, then take all the damage you would have taken. Post-battle collapse is win, not tie.
Static Crouch: Acts as if automatically balanced opposing attacks: Less stun/push, more damage. Low mobility options. Also avoids high. (Note: This is while crouched - intial duck delay until fully crouched is neutral balance.)
Jump: Acts as if automatically balanced away from attacks: Less damage, more stun/push. Also avoids low. (Blocking in the air... almost garrentteed guard-break. At least there's less damage.)
Special games:
First blood (Lose imput control when damaged, if both players hit, whichever does more damage, if just one, that one loses.)
To knock-down (No damage, first player knocked to the ground loses.)
To Submission (Damage reduces wiggle efficiency but regenerates, first player to hold a submission hold for a specified amount of time wins.)
To Ring-out (Lose when forced off ring.)
Misc Character traits:
Regeneration: While no imput is taken, slow regeneration.
Default static crouch: Instead of holding down to stay crouched, hold up to uncrouch.
Special victories:
Taunt-victory: Three taunts in a row creates victory (forces aggression).
Ring-out: Drive opponent off of ring for victory.
Feints: Most attacks can be stopped before a certain point, some can be delayed (whiffs throws and parries, weak to quick and dodge), some can be converted into other attacks. (Strong against some dodge and quick, weak into strong and throws and parry)
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Helping out.
I got to help out Carolyn and Megan with their luggage (also cleaning up their flat, but that's seperate.
Helped Carolyn carry her massive suitcase down, saw her and her roommate off (both such cool people...).
I helped Megan with her luggage, all the way until she got on the train in the Paddington train station.
Helping people causes me to feel good. ^.^
Friday, July 3, 2009
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